A Suitable Partner

Author: Brian Flanagan
October 04, 2018
27th Sunday of Ordinary Time

Have you ever heard the expression, “Wow, he/she really married up!”?  It means that someone’s husband or wife is way out of their league.  That this spouse is so amazing, you wonder how on earth they ever ended up with the person they did.  I’ll be married three years this month, and I’d certainly apply this saying to my own marriage.  I’m pretty amazing.  My wife really married up.  Just kidding!  All of our friends would tell you it’s the other way around for sure.  I certainly married up.

The first reading this week talks about God creating a “suitable partner” for the man he had created.  My whole life, I wondered who this “suitable partner” might be, and when she’d finally come along.  When we finally met, I said as Adam did, “This one, at last!”

So what does it mean to be a suitable partner?  That’s an important question to ask – but not necessarily in the way that you think.  Sure, when we’re in our dating years, looking for that person God has in store for us, we want to find someone who we think would be well suited for us.  Beautiful/handsome…smart… virtuous… fun to be around… similar interests… similar Netflix queue.
But I’d suggest that the more important question to be asking is, “How can I personally become a ‘suitable partner’?”  For those who are married, that’s a question we should be asking every day – how can we love our spouse and our family the best we can, always putting them first?  Am I being the best husband I can be?  The best father I can be?  Maybe you’re single and plan on asking yourself those questions one day when you’ve got the ring on your finger.

Well guess what?  You can (and should!) start asking those questions even now.  Am I living in such a way that I’m becoming a “suitable partner” for my future husband/wife?  Am I growing in virtue and character?  Am I working on my prayer life and my friendship with God?  Am I investing in solid friendships and community that will be a support for my future family when that day comes?  There is much you can do even when you’re single to prepare for the day you meet your “suitable partner” – and hopefully your “This one, at last!” has been doing the same.

By the time my wife and I started dating, each of us had spent some considerable time trying to become “suitable partners” for our future spouses.  Not that either of us are perfect (my wife can vouch for me about that), but I think our life and relationship would be very different today if we had lived more self-centered lives before meeting.

You may think that Marriage Prep is something you do a few months before your wedding when you meet with the priest, but that’s only the last stage of it.  If you’re single and feel called to married life, let Marriage Prep start today for you, even if your “suitable partner” isn’t on the horizon yet.

And what about priests and religious sisters and brothers?  God calls some men and women to live for him first and him alone.  So the same thing applies; if God might be calling you to be a priest one day for example, work on yourself now and let his grace work in you, so that when the day of your Ordination comes along, you’ll be a “suitable partner” for the Lord.

And remember that it’s really God who’s doing the work in us!  As he says in this week’s reading from Genesis, “I will make a suitable partner for him/[her].”  So be open to that grace, and hopefully one day you’ll be sitting side-by-side on the couch with a fellow saint, watching “This is Us” and thanking God for making you suitable partners.
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